Which football-fan actors have appeared on screen in the colours of a rival?
“Recently I have been enjoying the BBC’s revival of the classic sitcom Open All Hours,” wrote Stu Joslin last week. “In this series, Barry Elliott (better known as the senior of the Chuckle Brothers) plays a customer called Mr Marshall, who dons a Doncaster Rovers jacket and scarf. Bearing in mind that it is well documented that the Chuckle Brothers are both in fact ardent Rotherham United fans, I was wondering if any other famous football fans have had to take to the stage or screen wearing the colours of a rival team for the sake of the part?”
Chuckle Sr is far from alone in portraying a supporter of a rival team in the name of thespianism. In The Fix Liverpool fan Ricky Tomlinson played an Everton supporter, while Liverpool fan Jason Isaacs played the Everton player Tony Kay. And Simon O’Brien played keen Liverpool fan Damon Grant in Brookside, despite being an Evertonian.
But perhaps most impressively Steve Burnham and Bill Markham write to point out that Everton chairman Bill Kenwright played a Liverpool fan in an episode of the Liver Birds:
“Philip Glenister supports Arsenal but played Manchester City fan Gene Hunt in Life On Mars/Ashes To Ashes,” writes Marcos Garcia. “It must have been especially confusing for him in the Life On Mars episode where he was playing the landlord of the pub full of Manchester United supporters – an Arsenal fan pretending to be a Man City fan pretending to be a Man United fan.”
Also in the north-west: “There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble, the story of a teenage Man City fan in a school full of Man Utd fans, set around the peak of the gap between the two clubs’ fortunes in the late 90s, starred diehard Reds fan Lewis McKenzie in the titular City fan role,” writes Darren Beach. The film also features West Ham fan Ray Winestone as a City fan.e
The list goes on: West Ham fan Nick Frost donned a Bristol Rovers shirt in Hot Fuzz; Tottenham fan Neil Pearson played an Arsenal fan in Fever Pitch; West Ham man Danny Dyer plays a Chelsea fan in Football Factory; in Phoenix Nights Manchester United fan Justin Moorhouse wears a Manchester City shirt; in Rebus Hearts fan Ken Stott is Hibernian-supporting Detective Inspector Rebus; Spurs supporter Warren Mitchell played West Ham fan Alf Garnett in Till Death Us Do Part; Aston Villa fan Mark Williams donned a Birmingham City shirt for a series of sketches in The Fast Show.
Finally a couple of players who have worn rivals’ shirts. Firstly, Rangers legend Ally McCoist. “In A Shot At Glory, the man affectionately known as ‘Super’ Ally plays the part of Jackie McQuillan, a legendary former Celtic striker brought back from the brink to sign for the fictional Kilnockie (bizarrely, and presumably to flog the film to an American audience, managed by Robert Duvall and owned by Michael Keaton),” writes Scott Coulter. “With McQuillan spearheading the attack, Kilnockie embark on a memorable Scottish Cup run that culminates in a showdown at Hamden with McCoists own beloved Rangers. And, thanks to Andrew Docherty, here’s the man himself.
Last but certainly not least here’s Nick Anstead: “I think actor might be stretching it, but this advert would seem to fit the bill …”
HEADING FOR TROUBLE“When I was a wee nipper playing football down the park with jumpers for goalposts it was customary when, having rounded the keeper with no other player nearby, to get down on one’s hands and knees and knock the ball into the empty goal with one’s head to further humiliate the opposition,” writes Brian Tunney. “Has anybody ever been so bold as to pull of this glorious move in a professional game?”
Several cheeky chaps have attempted this playground favourite in the professional ranks. “One John ‘Leader’ Ritchie did just that in a game for Stoke City against Southampton in the 1970s,” writes Matt Prince. “In the pre-match build up Peter Osgood had opined that Ritchie wasn’t particularly good with his head, a quite preposterous statement given that the man who remains Stoke City’s all-time leading goal scorer, was simply sublime in the air.
“Stoke won the game 4-1, with Ritchie scoring a hat-trick. For his third, and Stoke’s fourth, Ritchie received the ball courtesy of a rebound off a post from a Jimmy Greenhoff shot, went past the stranded keeper and trapped the ball on the line; then, grinning from ear to ear he dropped to his knees, in front of the Boothen End, and nodded the ball over the line. Apparently, Osgood didn’t see the funny side.”
“Nathan Tyson scored a goal exactly like that for Wycombe Wanderers against Wrexham in September 2005,” writes Stu Joslin. “It’s alluded to in the match report here as ‘a cheeky low range header’.”
And, thanks to Richard House, here is Tyson’s moment of glory:
Andy Clarke also got in on the act for Peterborough:
And here’s Tolu Olorunmoteni: “Paul-Georges Ntep scored in this fashion against Reims in the 2013/14 season.” It’s a ballsy move for a 19-year-old:
But let the story of Mini Jakobsen be a warning. “Jakobsen was a Norwegian player equally famous for his big mouth as his short legs, did something similar in a junior game, he explains in this article,” writes Guffen Helleve. “Jakobsen’s goals was cancelled by the referee, who found Jakobsen’s actions to be bad sportsmanship.”
VAN MAN (UNITED)“Manchester United have used three ‘Vans’ during the Premier League era: Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Robin Van Persie and Louis Van Gaal,” begins Adam Morris. “Has any other clubs had more Vans than this? Can anyone name all of the Vans that have played in the Premier League since it started?”
Well, the Van issue is of course the burning issue of the day so we could hardly ignore this question. In fact Manchester United have had four playing Vans in the Premier League era – the aforementioned Van Nistelrooy and Van Persie, but also Edwin van der Sar and Raimond van der Gouw – plus their current manager, making Old Trafford the undisputed king of the Vans. Tottenham, next in line to the throne, have had two – Pat van de Hauwe and Rafael van der Vaart – but no other team has had more than one.
We think this is a comprehensive list: Raimond van der Gouw (Man Utd); Pierre van Hooijdonk (Nottingham Forest); Andy van der Meyde (Everton); Ruud van Nistelrooy (Man Utd); Robin van Persie (Arsenal, Man Utd); Edwin van der Sar (Fulham, Man Utd); Rafael van der Vaart (Tottenham); Daniel van Buyten (Man City); Jelle van Damme (Southampton, Wolves); Pat van den Hauwe (Tottenham), Ricky van Wolfswinkel (Norwich), Dennis van Wijk (Norwich).
So now you know.
KNOWLEDGE ARCHIVE“Where is the most unusual place a match ball has been lost during a game (eg river, road)?” wondered Matthew Crocker back in the halcyon days of 2007.
You might think a river an unusual place to lose a ball, Matthew, but in some parts of the world nothing could be more natural. Take Shrewsbury, for example, where the club’s former home at Gay Meadow was situated right on the banks of the River Severn. They used to lose so many balls to the river that they even employed a local coracle maker - Fred Davies - to sit in one of his boats during matches and retrieve any that wound up in the water.
But rivers are small fry - try playing right next to the sea like the Welsh team Holyhead Town. “I remember in the late 50s or 60s reading a short report of a match at Holyhead Town having to be abandoned because all the balls had been kicked out to sea,” offers Paul Crankshaw.
What Paul can’t tell us, however, is whether those balls were lost intentionally, as a number apparently were during the 1941 Rio State Championship final between Fluminense and Flamengo. “Fluminense only needed a draw and went 2-0 up, but then Flamengo got level in the 83rd minute,” explains Guilherme Tanaka. “Fluminense’s players then took to hoofing balls into a nearby lake until they had run out altogether. The ruse nearly backfired as Flamengo’s directors sent their rowing team to retrieve the balls, and a considerable amount of time was added on, but in the end Flamengo couldn’t find another goal and Fluminense retained the title.”
You don’t need water to lose a football though, as Paul Kilgour discovered at a pre-season friendly between Cardiff and Danish first division side Frem in Copenhagen. “At one point the ball was hoofed up the pitch and over the goal,” recalls a misty-eyed Paul. “The ball boy gave chase, but a dog got there first and chased the ball into the woods, never to be seen again.” Ah, the memories.
For Tom Oxley, however, the strangest place a ball could possibly end up is ... York. His position becomes a bit more understandable when you realise the game was taking place in Kent. “On a York City away day to Gravesend (now Ebbsfleet United) we arrived five minutes late for kick-off, and as we were running across the car park a ball came flying out of the stadium,” says Tom. “I managed to hide it under a traffic cone, collecting it after the game and taking it home, where it soon became the official match ball for the York City FC supporters’ club, until someone blasted it on to the roof of Oaklands School, never to be retrieved. A twice lost ball, 250 miles from home.”
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