Jesus has returned… & been cautioned for indecent exposure

In the Bible, Jesus said: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” One man in Exeter perhaps had this in mind on Saturday night when, dressed as the Son of God, he exposed his backside.

That’s right, Jesus himself was spotted out in the southwestern English town of Exeter having a few tins, with his holy bare bum exposed for his followers to see – prompting a swift police response.

Devon and Cornwall Police were called to Exeter city center on Saturday after reports of a scantily clad messiah.

The man – probably a chap in fancy dress rather than the actual king of kings – was wearing what was described as “a barely there little white sheet.”

Police community support officer William Malcolm said the sight of the nearly-nude redeemer’s bare butt left him scarred “for about an hour.”

“When I got there [his outfit] certainly was little and very barely there. Unfortunately I had a good view of his bottom which scared me for about an hour. I dread to think how I would’ve felt if I saw anything else.”

Malcolm was quick to debunk the Jesus myth for those excited fanatics out there gearing up to celebrate the second coming.

It turns out it was just “a lads’ night out with this one dressed as Jesus,” although his beard did lend some authenticity to the look.

“I did tell him I don’t recall Jesus exposing himself in films I’ve seen,” Malcolm said.

After police intervened, the naughty Jesus (surely indecent exposure is a sin?) decided to take a taxi home, probably to the horror of some poor cabbie out there.